


Covering the Bet

by AnonEhouse



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bets & Wagers, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Humor, Nudity, Public Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-06
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:19:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2728700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/AnonEhouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony and Hulk go for a naked stroll.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Covering the Bet

**Author's Note:**

> In the comic 'Avengers Assemble #11', there was a megalomaniac villain, angst, self-sacrifice, heroism, endangered civilians, etc. But, eh, boooring. The important part was the last few panels in which the Avengers make Tony and Bruce pay off a lost bet by walking naked from Stark Tower to the Baxter Building and back.
> 
> I interwove dialog from the comic with my own additions. Stuff happens that did NOT happen in the comic.

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"It's just a stroll, Bruce. Down and back." Tony said encouragingly as he scratched at his waist where the faint pink crease caused by his trouser waistband was fading.

"Yeah. Right." Bruce scowled and stood behind the mailbox in front of Stark Tower while holding a newspaper behind him.

"Good day for it. Sunny, light breeze." Tony lifted one foot to pick off a pebble caught between his toes. "Just watch out for gum, and inconsiderate dog walkers."

Bruce took a deep breath. "I don't want to do this, Tony."

"You don't want to be a sore loser, do you?"

"It's not FAIR." Bruce took another deep breath. "Thor was on your team, and Jessica was on mine. Why don't they have to do it, too?"

"Because we're the geeks," Tony said. "People always pick on the geeks." He gave Bruce a serious look that lasted for about two seconds before the two of them burst out laughing.

"All right, but I'm not going like this."

"Well, no, you can't take the mailbox with you. The post office frowns on that."

Bruce rolled his eyes. "If they want me exposed, they'll get me exposed." He took a third deep breath, but this time instead of letting it out, his chest kept expanding along with the rest of him. There were various growling, popping, indecipherable stretching noises, until finally Hulk looked down at Tony and huffed. "STUPID BET." He dropped the newspaper on top of the mailbox and looked around, glaring at the other Avengers.

Tony shrugged. "I've done worse." He pointed down the street. "Let's go and get it over with. I'll buy you a chimichanga from Mexican Radio once we get back home."

Hulk grunted. "HULK WANT MARGARITA PITCHER."

"Sure thing, buddy." Tony started walking as casually as if an early morning nude walk along Broadway was no big deal. Experience tells.

Hulk fell into step next to Tony. This was awkward because one of Hulk's normal strides would have made about six of Tony's, but since Hulk kept stopping to frown at the Avengers and to peer suspiciously at windows and doorways, they kept fairly even.

After a few minutes the streets became far less empty. Tony smiled and waved to the onlookers. "Hi, there! Tony Stark! How's it going? You know, I do not recall ever seeing this many people out and about this time of the morning. I can't help but get the feeling..."

From the sidewalk, the Wasp said, "You set them up," in a general sort of way to her fellow Avengers. Then she reached into Wolverine's box of popcorn for a handful of kernels. She didn't look into the box. Her eyes were firmly fixed on the central attractions striding down the street.

Captain Marvel said, "What? Me? No. But it sure does seem like _someone_ must've called the radio or _something."_

A large white van pulled up next to the sidewalk superintending Avengers. A big man leaned out of the passenger side door. "Hey, parking spot! Great!" The van pulled in and the man got out and began feeding quarters into the parking meter. He was naked.

"Huh," Wolverine said. He ate more popcorn. "You forget something, Bub? Like your pants?"

"Nope." The man grinned at Wolverine. "We're the Young Naturists in New York City." 

The driver got out, too and went around to the back of the van to open the rear doors. "We're here, everyone out!" People began piling out. They were all sizes, shapes and colors. Their only commonality was a lack of clothing, although some of them wore sandals, and a few had eyeglasses.

"Hello!" A red-headed woman said, smiling. "Lovely day!" She joined the group hurrying to catch up with Tony and Hulk.

Spider-woman pointed further down the street, where other vans and even a battered bus were parking and producing more nude people. "I think this is getting out of hand."

Captain America shrugged. "I'm okay with it. They're not doing any harm."

"Indeed," Thor said. "But it does spoil the jest." He sighed. 

Spider-woman aimed her cell phone at Tony and Hulk, framing their backsides. "Something's wrong with my phone."

"Hulk no want pictures on interwebs!" Hulk protested. He was blushing green.

Tony smiled. "Don't sweat it big guy, I've got..."

Captain Marvel pointed at Tony. "He's got a high powered cell phone jammer in his right hand."

"Well, that explains it. What a bummer," Spider-woman said, looking wistfully at the great ass-shots going unrecorded.

Captain Marvel said, "Relax, we got this."

Spidey webbed down from a building and hung upside down with his camera. "Say cheese!" The flash lit up the street, capturing Hulk and Tony, front and center, surrounded by the crowd of naturists.

"HEY!" The woman marching next to Tony cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled, "BUDDY! DID YOU GET MY GOOD SIDE?"

Tony grinned. "There's gonna be a hell of a fine. But it'll be worth it."

Hulk huffed. "CRAP."

"I told you to watch where you were walking."

Hulk ripped the top off a fire hydrant and held his foot in the water shooting out. Tony sighed. "Ok, even more of a hell of a fine."


End file.
